TOP 10 Golf Balls to use in 2019

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Top 10 Golf Balls for 2019*

#1  Noodle – This is the top ball. Why, because it is
clearly the best choice for any thoughtful person.
If you want to be like the rest of the boorish apes on the
course go ahead and use a different brand.

#2  Titleist – Honestly I think the success of this company is due
mostly to the brand geniuses putting the word tit in the name.
Decent balls I suppose.

#3 Taylor Made – These are really good balls. You can’t
go wrong here – well made – just don’t lose them with your wilder
swings.

#4 Callaway – A true gentleman’s ball for a gentleman’s game.
If you are the type to ridgidly follow dress codes and
ettiquette then this is the refined ball for you.

#5 Top Flite – The “Champs” of golf balls.

#6 Vapor – A nice appealing brand name here for golf players that like to vape or do drugs on and off the course.  It remains to be seen if these loyal smoke suckers can actually golf.

#7 Vice- Everybody has a vice so why not make golf yours!?

#8 Precept – If you like to envision your ball going in under par every hole you might be overthinking it.  let this ball do all the thinking for you with it’s amazing gift of sight.

#9 Bridgestone Golf – Well it’s not quite a tire, but don’t blame me if your ball smells of recycled rubber.

#10 Srixon Z Star XV – Finally a ball for zombies and zombie appreciators.  “Fore!” “Oh don’t worry that’s not a golf player, just another undead wanderer.”

*please note – there is nothing scientific or logical about these rankings – Literally just had a bunch of balls lying around and made an arbitrary list.  Enjoy! Continue reading “TOP 10 Golf Balls to use in 2019”

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Here’s to the Gleaners

Gleaners

Here’s to the Gleaners
picking up after litterers
reaping what will fall
from the hands of the careless.

Here’s to the Gleaners
somehow making a bit of Styrofoam useful again
or a scrap of fabric
feeding back to the earth
what she will take,
re-purposing what she will not.

Hat’s off to the Gleaners
finding use when no one else sees it
making window art with scratched compact disks and aluminum
saving a small bird from a fatal collision with human construction
up-cycling,
                  disinfecting,
                                         innovating,
                                                              envisioning
a future without so much waste…

What will we do with all those discarded computer parts?
floating refuse?
gadgets and trinkets of yesteryear?

Raise a glass to the Gleaners,
Can they save us from drowning in a mountain of abandoned material things?

The next time you see something discarded
ponder the Gleaners and think;
“Could I use that?”

 

Thank you for visiting.  I’m not sure why but in my area I see people throw things from their vehicles and see it all around the roads and highways.  Pop cans, plastic, used diapers, old gloves, jackets and boots.  If you throw things at the side of the road please realize this is someone’s neighborhood.  Would you want their garbage in your neighborhood?

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“This is Us” – An Art Exhibit in the Country

“This is Us” An Art Exhibit in the Country – Mini Arts Review by Tim Vant

An amazing array of colour, light and self-exploration will greet your eyes when you visit the Kariton to see this show.  The Kartion itself is a wonder situated centrally in Abbotsford in the heart of picturesque Mill Lake Park.

While the opening of  “This is Us” didn’t have an enormous turnout (likely due to the weather) the president of the Graphic Guild gave a heartfelt speech that got everyone thinking about identity, art and how the two inter-relate locally, provincially and perhaps even nationally.

Some standout pieces include a wonderful expressionistic piece titled Breathing Dessert by Jake Muller.  This piece is full of movement and colour and simply must be seen in person as photos don’t do it justice.  Neil Loewen does good work with a pair of self-portraits that cleverly explore identity.  There are plenty of other interesting paintings, too many to mention them all.

This exhibit is definitely worth a gander for any Fine Art lover willing to travel up the valley to see some nice original pieces.  While there may be a couple of poorly informed dank tree paintings popped into a corner for good reason these are few and far between.

Who members of the graphic guild really are may remain a mystery however with this show true colours are showing through.

“This is Us” is put on by the Abbotsford Arts Council and the Central Fraser Valley Graphic Guild runs until March 5 at Kariton Art Gallery, 2387 Ware St. Abbotsford.

cfvgg pres speech

A Canadian Conversation during the Polar Vortex

frozen wasteland

A Conversation with two Canadians during the Polar Vortex

(Canuck A is coming in from outside)

Canuck A: Holy crap it’s like ‘Game of Thrones’ out there.

Canuck B: What were you doing outside?

Canuck A: Digging the car out.

Canuck B: Eh? I’m staying in for the rest of the month.

Canuck A: But, we’re out of poutine! You know, sustenance.

Canuck B: I’ve got a hoard of pemmican and mac n’ cheese for just such occasions.

Canuck A: Alright, wanna stay in and drink beer?

Canuck B: Well this sure ain’t coffee in this mug.

Introducing the ‘Smart’ Hammer

Introducing the “Smart” Hammer

The Smart Hammer can smash any other technology quite consistently and without disappointment.  While it isn’t yet “self aware” or capable of simple reasoning it is still quite effective.  When pitted against android and ios devices it handily won any contests within the 60 second time trials allowed in recent competitions.  The next time you’re considering adopting a new disruptive technology please consider the “Smart” Hammer.  Stick with our catchphrase and you’ll never fail; “Sometimes old is new and smart is actually dumb” *

*As prices for Apple smart devices fall due to decreased sales why not get a tried and true device from the old world? At a fraction of the price this luddite technology is pounding the crap out of the competition.

Prints of this piece will soon be available at Perfect Piece Optical in Mission, B.C.  One can only assume that the typos and capitalization errors on the piece are a result of “spell check” not being available.