#1 Noodle – This is the top ball. Why, because it is
clearly the best choice for any thoughtful person.
If you want to be like the rest of the boorish apes on the
course go ahead and use a different brand.
#2 Titleist – Honestly I think the success of this company is due
mostly to the brand geniuses putting the word tit in the name.
Decent balls I suppose.
#3 Taylor Made – These are really good balls. You can’t
go wrong here – well made – just don’t lose them with your wilder
#4 Callaway – A true gentleman’s ball for a gentleman’s game.
If you are the type to ridgidly follow dress codes and
ettiquette then this is the refined ball for you.
#5 Top Flite – The “Champs” of golf balls.
#6 Vapor – A nice appealing brand name here for golf players that like to vape or do drugs on and off the course. It remains to be seen if these loyal smoke suckers can actually golf.
#7 Vice- Everybody has a vice so why not make golf yours!?
#8 Precept – If you like to envision your ball going in under par every hole you might be overthinking it. let this ball do all the thinking for you with it’s amazing gift of sight.
#9 Bridgestone Golf – Well it’s not quite a tire, but don’t blame me if your ball smells of recycled rubber.
#10 Srixon Z Star XV – Finally a ball for zombies and zombie appreciators. “Fore!” “Oh don’t worry that’s not a golf player, just another undead wanderer.”
The Smart Hammer can smash any other technology quite consistently and without disappointment. While it isn’t yet “self aware” or capable of simple reasoning it is still quite effective. When pitted against android and ios devices it handily won any contests within the 60 second time trials allowed in recent competitions. The next time you’re considering adopting a new disruptive technology please consider the “Smart” Hammer. Stick with our catchphrase and you’ll never fail; “Sometimes old is new and smart is actually dumb” *
*As prices for Apple smart devices fall due to decreased sales why not get a tried and true device from the old world? At a fraction of the price this luddite technology is pounding the crap out of the competition.
Prints of this piece will soon be available at Perfect Piece Optical in Mission, B.C. One can only assume that the typos and capitalization errors on the piece are a result of “spell check” not being available.
Here is a free colouring page for Canadian and international visitors or a free coloring page for American visitors.
This is a scan of a linocut project called “The Shape We Are” it was later incorporated into a larger painting titled “Aloft”. In the spirit of “The Shape We Are” The lines here are not clean or necessarily straight, there are smudges and nothing here is by any means “perfect”
Please feel free to print and colour this document to your hearts desire. I would love to see what you can come up with. Have Fun! 🙂